Doer of Our Deeds

Amy Nelson
Sister Embree
Comm150
22 Jan 2010

Link to "Doer of Our Deeds": http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=7722

I loved this address so much! Sister Thomas totally nailed the whole self-esteem issue on the head. The world would have us believe that we ‘need’ self-esteem, that we need to feel good about ourselves or there’s something wrong with us. After reading this address I agree that self-esteem is more of a worldly term that doesn’t really have much eternal significance, and that it exists to perhaps distract us from the real issues at hand. But there has to be a reason why we have self-doubt or the dejected insecure feelings characterized by what we know as ‘self-esteem’. I like what Sister Thompson said about the first reason we have those feelings is that we’re in a fallen state and in a world that’s contrary to the nature of our spirits. It reminds me of what the Hymn 292 ‘O My Father’ says: “For a wise and glorious purpose Thou hast place me here on earth, and withheld the recollection of my former friends and birth; Yet oftimes a secret something whispered “You’re a stranger here,” and I felt that I had wandered from a more exalted sphere.” Sister Thompson asked some questions pertaining to this: “Do we have a sense of loss from deeply buried memories of who we once were in contrast with who we are now? But here is my main question: Is it possible that in our efforts to find security, we have fallen into a number of errors? Is it possible that we have created the whole issue of self-esteem in an attempt to soothe this fallen, homesick self?" Definitely.


Sister Thomas also said that: “Resistance to our spiritual natures manifests itself as guilt, despair, resentment, self-pity, fear, depression, feelings of victimization, fear over the scarcity of needed things, and other forms of distress. These are all functions of the fallen self, and we all necessarily experience them. But the pursuit of self-esteem will not solve the problems of the self that is in conflict because of sin. It will not even solve the problems of those who suffer from others' sins against them.” I like that she said we all ‘necessarily’ need to experience these things. It’s part of the mortal experience, but that it’s not fixable by self-esteem. I sometimes feel like the world would have you think of yourself as more imperfect and flawed than you really are, thus creating the need for something like self-esteem to somehow magically boost your sense of pride and confidence in yourself so that you’re not a depressed person anymore. Sister Thomas seems to equate self-esteem with pride. Wasn’t it the pride of the world represented by the great and spacious building that fell a great fall in Lehi’s dream (1 Nephi 11:36)?


I remember being a brand new missionary, feeling so inadequate to wear the Black Nametag, to be a representative of Jesus Christ, feeling like my weaknesses were so apparent, and feeling like every little mistake I made was a hindrance to my companion and the Lord. I expressed my frustrations to my companion, that I just didn’t have the confidence in myself to be able to preach the gospel, and that I felt like an idiot teaching because I didn’t always know what to say like she did. Her response was that I didn’t need to have confidence in myself; it’s not my gospel we were preaching. I needed to have confidence in the Lord, because he was the only one who would make my weaknesses into strengths, and it was He who would turn me into the instrument He needed me to be if I would forget myself and go to work. I took her advice, and for the rest of my mission I felt how Ammon felt, and how Sister Thomas describes how he felt: “I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God. Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things (Alma 26:12).” Sister Thomas then says: “For Ammon, it seems, the whole concept of self-esteem was irrelevant. Being filled with the love of God was of far greater worth than any sense of self-confidence. If one grand objective of earth life is to gain access to the grace of Jesus Christ for our trials and divine development, then we will immediately realize that self-confidence is a puny substitute for God-confidence. With respect to confidence, the Lord says, "Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men . . . let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God" (D&C 121:45). The Lord identifies love and virtue as the essential ingredients in feelings of confidence and security.”

I love when Sister Thomas asks: “Have you noticed that the pursuit of self-esteem seems to produce anxiety, whereas increasing humility and faith in the Lord produces consolation and rest?” It’s true that seeking self-esteem seems to cause more stress in your life, perhaps because it’s just one more thing the world is pushing on you that you have to worry about in order to become the world’s perfect person. Obviously, things like Patriarchal Blessings were given to us so that when in doubt we wouldn’t have to look to the world to find out how much we’re ‘worth’.


One last quote I love from this talk, explains my problems with this idea of putting off the natural man. “I have become aware of how demanding of attention the self is. What a lot of prayer and deliberate living it will take for me to remove my self as the force in my life. I have become aware that all my sins rise out of the self-absorption of my heart--impulses rising like the ticking of a clock in their persistent quest for self-promotion, self-defense, and self-gratification. It seems as though a change is needed at the very fountain of my heart out of which all thought and emotion rise. Could I actually come to the point where I could act without calculating my own self-interest all the time? Could I really live my daily life so that I was constantly searching out the Lord's will and drawing down his grace to accomplish it? And when the Lord in his mercy meshes his power with my agency and my effort and brings forth some measure of success, I ask, where is self-esteem? Where is even the need for self-esteem? I feel as though I just want to say instead, "Oh, Lord, increase my faith."” This quote echoes the desire of my heart to somehow change my way of thinking of self to thinking of others. I feel like us as college students are in a very selfish stage in life. Pretty much everything we do is for ourselves. We go to school and study so we can get good grades to graduate, so we can get jobs and make money for ourselves. We answer to no one (except our teachers maybe), don’t need to report in to anyone, and we do as we please. But I don’t need to have a corpulent ego in order to feel successful about my life. I feel like this article is an answer to a prayer I’ve had for awhile, in how to give up my whole heart to the Lord while being in this ‘me stage’ of life, and how to have, not self-confidence, but ‘God-confidence’.


“When Christ is the doer of all our deeds and the speaker of all our words, I have to ask, where is self-esteem? Where is the need of self-esteem?...One who practices faith in the Lord Jesus Christ will find relief from the stresses and anxieties of the pursuit of self-esteem.” I like the phrase ‘doer of all our deeds’. It no longer becomes ‘what I did’, but what the Lord did through you, and when you have that mindset of “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30), it makes the need for self-esteem superfluous.